First of all let me say I found ‘Of An Age’ to be a well-made and memorable piece of cinema, in the sense that I’ve been obsessively thinking about it since seeing it. The two main characters were sympathetically played and the emotions effectively conveyed.
Essential info:
Of An Age: Prizewinning Australian drama with romantic elements featuring central M/M love story; written and directed by Goran Stolevski; starring Elias Anton as Nikola (Kol) and Thom Green as Adam. Three part structure (Prologue set in 2010, long first chapter set in 1999, shorter second chapter set in 2010).
Spoiler-filled summary: Kol (17, just finished school and heading to university, not fully out to himself and not at all out to anyone else) meets Adam (the out, experienced older brother of Kol’s ballroom partner Ebony; finished with university and heading to graduate school) as the result of Ebony completely fucking up the day of their last dance competition. Kol and Adam spend most of the day together, part, then meet again that night at a party. They then spend most of the night together, talking and eventually having sex in the back of Adam’s car before parting in a sincerely wrenching scene. Cut to 2010 when Adam has come home to Melbourne from his internationally-traveling job and Kol is also home from Bristol; they meet in the airport; both are going to Ebony’s wedding. At Ebony’s house, beans are spilled to the effect that Adam has married someone else. Kol is crushed and angry. They barely speak at the wedding, but afterward have a long talk, go back to Kol’s hotel room, lie down together and simply cry. The End. Oh, but there’s the prologue, and I’ll talk about that below.
Deeper look: Kol is put in touch with Adam when he needs a ride to go collect Ebony from the beach where she woke up after a night of stupidity prompted by finding out she didn’t get accepted to drama school. The first chapter all takes place over the course of one long day in 1999 and includes racist, sexist, homophobic assholery from family, friends, and others. Kol is the child of Serbian immigrants, his father has since died, there are many people living in one house and one can imagine how desperate he is for any way to express himself. There is no hint of why he’s chosen ballroom dancing (or why this was part of the framing device). There is a great deal too much of Ebony, and very little basis for Kol’s apparent affection for her and willingness to put up with her abundant shit.
The marketing suggests that ballroom dancing is pertinent to the story, which is how it crossed my radar; however, that’s not really accurate. There is one scene with dancing, and it’s at a wedding. Having gone into the movie expecting some ballroom dancing, I was frankly disappointed not only that there was no ballroom dancing but that there was no good reason to even mention it. There were plenty of other reasons Kol and Adam could have met, and some wouldn’t have involved Kol being treated like shit by his alleged friend.
Anyway, as written, the Ebony-prompted meeting results in Kol and Adam being alone together for hours. It is implied this is the first time Kol has ever spoken to an out gay man who, it must be said, instantly recognizes that beneath Kol’s uncertainty and anxiety lies interest. They are attracted to each other. Kol tries to impress Adam by talking about the books he’s reading. Adam is sweet about it, even when it becomes clear that Kol has exaggerated. It must also be said that Ebony clearly suspects that Kol is gay. She probably doesn’t really care; in the 2010-set section, she’s fairly nice to him; but throughout the 1999 section she is such an asshole that one cannot help but think that everyone else in Kol’s life is worse.
This is a sad and scary place to leave a character, and here’s why the movie really troubles me: Kol is still, or again, in this sad and scary place at the end.
Vanity Fair has ‘Of An Age’ on its Best of 2023 list to date, saying: Though the ending of Of an Age is dismayingly abrupt, much of what’s come before is sweet and erotic and wise about the fits-and-starts process of coming out—chiefly to oneself.
The bit about what’s come before is true: the movie is very much about coming out. But while the close of chapter 2 is indeed dismayingly abrupt, it is not actually the ending.
The ending is that prologue, which clearly takes place after Kol’s last encounter with Adam; he is all alone, in a place where he and Adam had one of their long and significant conversations in 1999, and he calls Adam’s mother’s house, only to be told Adam isn’t there. His family has, we’ve learned, rejected him for being gay; his job is in another country; the closest thing he has to a friend in Melbourne is Ebony. Kol is, in this prologue, miserable. Near to tears.
It’s clear that from the moment he and Adam run into each other in the airport, Kol harbors a wish that they could start over. They’re both experienced adults now, he’s out, and the attraction springs to life as if their ten-year separation was a matter of hours. Adam is clearly thrilled to see him. But then Kol learns that Adam is married. It’s now clear that while Kol has accrued experience as an out gay man, part of him has never forgotten Adam or stopped wishing they didn’t have to part in 1999. (Note: all of this comes across in subtext, which is a tribute to the subtle performances.)
Because of that prologue, we are left with the image of Kol miserably alone, heartbroken, isolated, unsure how to move forward or if he even wants to.
That is a TERRIBLE place to leave a character, especially if you’re marketing something as romantic! The fact that the last scene of the movie is Kol and Adam embracing does not temper the fact that the prologue follows that scene.
As I see it:
Without the prologue, ‘Of An Age’ is a coming-out story in which the one who got away really did get away and, after getting some closure, the other character may move forward with a free heart. With the prologue, ‘Of An Age’ is a suicide note.
Apparently it works for film festival judges and movie critics, and you know, to each their own. I’m not sorry this director and this story are being lauded. Had the movie not been sold to me as a romance featuring ballroom dancing, maybe I would be less mad at it. I can perfectly well understand why someone wants to tell a coming-out story (with what feel like very personal details) that does not have a happy ending. But you know the rule: if it ain’t got a happy ending, it ain’t a romance.
Perhaps needless to say, I immediately started writing something inspired by ‘Of An Age’ that will be totally unlike it. Mine will have actual ballroom dancing and a happy ending. Watch this space.
